[Fragment] On making friends and breaking walls

A lot of people seem to go through life while banging their heads against metaphorical brick walls of various shapes and sizes. And no different than a real and physical wall, it hurts. Still, we continue.

Perhaps the satisfaction of finally having one give way to an expertly placed blow is what drives us. I'm not just talking about the actions we take due to instinct, or some other virtually hardwired response developed during one's formative years. I'm more talking about the stupid shit we do that we have control over.

Like drinking or smoking too much. Or driving too fast. Or spending too much money on unnecessary whirligigs or whatever strikes your fancy. Okay, so it can be argued that there is a malady for any of these behaviors. They're addictive or people have genetic predispositions or this or that.

So here's one that's a little more difficult to write off so easily. Trying to befriend people that seem to have on interest in speaking to you. And you say to yourself, "Why chiral, that does sound pretty damn stupid!"

I agree. There's a giant brick wall, except this one is more interesting than ephemeral exhilarations. People are more rich, more rewarding, so if someone seems interesting enough, why not? Often the stakes seem low; keep trying and at worst eventually be pushed away. Time is the majority commodity spent here.

Of course, things are never so simple when people are involved. For a lot of people, I would wager, rejection of any kind has an emotional price. And over a long enough period of time, resolve and trust erode away. Like a man at the racetrack that keeps betting on an unlikely horse and so goes bankrupt does a man that keeps a up routine of emotional masochism threaten his own heart with emptiness. A void that damage near everything brought in.

Clearly, such a person should stop. But just as it can often be so easy to pour one more or smoke one final, it can be so enticing to start up one last conversation. Because you can always stop "next time".